From eighty years she looks back
Into my young eyes
And she is gone
To where?
Where has her soul gone?
Body found yes
But her very mark her sign
Lost it seems to me now
Though I feel that she is here still
All around me windsouled
To love is always to live somehow
As long as our eyes are still this colourdull glass
I will not know her still
This parched scorched earth
Endless wheel of suffering
Great ocean of pain
Bloodbucket of grief
Roaring mouthgaped O
Of disappointment and despair
Will not then exist
And we shall smile
We shall smile as big
As the big crescent moon
Which lies on its arched back and dreams
Of cats and stars and snow
And as before we saw smiley shining stars
And disreaching them
Our arms would wave like a desperate windmill
Hoping hoping to welcome them home
Now we shall touch them close to our hearts
And what we are
And what we may be
Maybe
Why I have failed
And all I could have been
And am not
And all I had hoped for
And were not
And everything I hoped
And hoped and hoped and hoped for
I prayed in the morning
And I prayed in the evening
And I got not
From the rotgut god
When all the world starts to shiver
And shimmer and shake all around me
And all the worldlight was piecemeal
And peaceless
This is the atomic pain of the worlds
The molecular tears
The final crystalline structure of misery
That winds its way around the wooden snakejawed growing spine
Of the worlds
Listen: I was taken
To be betrayed whenever is hate
To be betrayed wherever is hate
As the body is abused by man
There in the Patrapass
